Song: ‘When I Think of You’ -Janet Jackson | Eighties music is for the yearners. It was post-70s Funk and pre-90s Cool, androgyny was in, and the synthesizer dominated pop music thanks to the brilliant decision to connect it to the raw human emotion of yearning.

Hey there.

We’re days away from an international break—which is going to be super intense—but before we get there we have another full NWSL weekend (including four [4!] games tonight), a handful of Liga F games, and the resumption of the FA Cup.

After the weekend, the international window is going to bless us with World Cup Qualifiers, and the sickos at U.S. Soccer and Japan Football Federation agreeing to three matches against each other in one week. Outrageous, but I will be there (not live, just spiritually, and with my whole being).

Anywhomst, before it all gets started I have some stuff for you to read, news to know, woso to watch, and a social vid that I need you to see, because Boston Legacy players are apparently barking at one another and it’s tremendous.

Ok, let’s do that woso…

Week 3 included a whole lot of struggle soccer, but thankfully this is the NWSL, so despite eight teams putting up xG totals below 1.0, there was still plenty of sauce to be found.

Eight (8!) teams put up xG totals below 1.0. It’s probs not a coincidence that 7 of these 8 were on their third match in a week due to an early scheduling of Wednesday games. The league got the games in, but we all suffered.

It’s very funny that this diva might’ve yapped himself out of an opportunity to coach one of next year’s World Cup favorites. However, I also have lots of questions for Japan Football Federation. Futoshi Ikeda was pushed out for Nielsen after the ‘23 World Cup, which was a move that never made sense, and now they’re making another coaching change, this time extremely late in a tournament cycle.

The truly terrifying and absurd amount of talent in the team might spare them from this instability compromising results, but it sure would be nice to see them get out of the way.

(Also, it could just be a translation thing but the director of Japan’s women’s team, Norio Sasaki, apparently said that they found Nielsen’s coaching to be ‘too naive’, which is hilarious. Listen, you can fire me, but don’t tell the world it’s because I’m a ditzy boy, even if it’s true.)

Sure does look like Columbus is going to be the next expansion team to join the NWSL alongside Atlanta in 2028. I’m appreciating the lack of public funding, but the league office better also have a very good response for welcoming Jimmy Haslam into its ranks. His Cleveland Browns have been terrible since I’ve been alive, and it sure seems like mismanagement tanked the Milwaukee Bucks’ ability to be consistently competitive despite having one of the best players in the league.

Beyond that, the man’s company and primary source of wealth—Pilot Flying J, handed to him by his Dad—was found guilty of fraud in 2013, and had to pay $92-million in restitution. He claims he knew nothing about it, but several former C-suite level employees were involved, and sentenced to prison.

Former President at Pilot Flying J, Mark Hazelwood, got a $750,000 fine and 12.5 year sentence. He was also recorded in conversations with employees saying that Haslam knew all about the scheme and loved it, “We were making $450,000 a month … why wouldn’t he love it?”. Hazelwood was paid $40-million by the company ‘as part of a confidential settlement agreement,’ and they also paid his legal fees.

There are no ethical billionaires and all that, but ffs.

by Julie Kliegman

The IOC can go to hell imo.

Annie, Ella & I reviewed the record-breaking, but dull, 0-0 draw against Denver Summit. We chatted through familiar attacking struggles, and how NWSL scheduling helped send 63,004 people home without a goal.

Honestly, I have no idea, but it’s hilarious.