Week 3 included a whole lot of struggle soccer, but thankfully this is the NWSL, so despite eight teams putting up xG totals below 1.0, there was still plenty of sauce to be found.
tordin tornado
Naaaaaaah cut it out. Stop this immediately. Pietra Adao Tordin you get back in the house right now.
Tordin has had a brilliant start to 2026, and a Sauce God high on confidence is a dangerous thing—as multiple Kansas City players found out. Every touch of this move deserves to be analyzed, so let’s:
First Touch: This touch settles the ball in front of her with a defender on her back is terrific. She guides the ball to the ground exactly where she wants it while wrestling with a whole other human. The touch was vital, and allowed her to plot the next moves while maintaining balance and control.
Second Touch: The second touch is a combination of well-timed baiting and trickery. Tordin waits for the defender to close in tight before lunging forward to separate from defender behind, and place her body over the ball to block the defender in front. Once there she rolled the ball further out of danger, underneath her and toward goal with the studs on her right boot.
Third Touch: The second and third touches are pure choreography. One doesn’t work without the other. The third is an inverse of the second, this time using her left foot rolling roll the ball back in the direction it came from. The two happen so quickly that both defenders not only whiffed on their opportunities to contest possession, it’s at this point that neither have any idea where the ball even is.
Fourth Touch: The final touch in the sequences doesn’t have the technique of the 1-2 rolling of the ball in different directions with her right then left, it’s more a touch of celebration, a perfect kicker to end her essay on why she’s better than you. Tordin backheels the ball into space so that as she flips her hips to complete the move, the ball would be waiting for her in front of an ocean of space. If a touch could be sparklers in champagne, this was that.
This sort of move is why I’m obsessed with the sport. Filth, technique, audacity, and the sort of fluid body control and manipulation that’s more artistic expression than sport.
kvz culinary class continues
Back in the day there was a fun—at times cringey—apparel line called And1. It was a celebration of street basketball, which emphasized ball handling skills (particularly crossovers) and trash talk. One of the silly shirts they offered had the phrase ‘You Reach, I Teach’, a mantra applied by Kiki Van Zanten in this move.
KVZ is becoming a bit of a regular to these, showing up last week thanks to a no look/no touch nutmeg. In this move her quick feet and understanding of a defender’s momentum, and how to use it against them, was on display once again. This time she settles a ball in front of her after a pass to feet. As the defender closes, she does a stepover that forces the onrushing defender to hesitate, compromising her balance, but also offering a treat. The ball hadn’t moved, it was just sitting there, tantalizingly. The stillness of the ball whispered, ‘You’re a defender, an attacking player has me in a dangerous area deep in your defensive third. Claiming me would alleviate all of the pressure of this moment for your team; so go ahead, stick out your leg, win me back, be a hero.’
It said everything KVZ wanted it to say. But as soon as the defender commits to the lunge for the ball, Van Zanten used her quick feet and acceleration to tap it toward the endline and leave a duped defender behind. What was an opportunity for a defender to protect her team suddenly became an even larger problem, as that same attacker was now running free toward the box. It’s a brilliantly nasty bit of soccering.
The move wasn’t over, though. Scroll back up and watch how Van Zanten capped it off by knifing a would-be assist through five (5!) Angel City defenders, sending the ball to meet Avery Patterson in open space at. The pass is nearly just as good as the move to create the opening for it. The entire sequence deserved a goal so it could immediately be added to a highlight package, but the shot was blocked. So I got to twirl my hipster mustache, pop my suspenders, and drop it here.
lampson, WR1
In a former life I wanted to be a wide receiver. I was average at best, and don’t have the build of someone who could survive being tackled for a living. Yet through my attempts growing up I learned a variety of ways to catch a football, and one of the hardest to execute was the over-the shoulder-catch. Your torso and arms have to contort away from the direction you’re running to form an opening for the ball to drop into. Then you have to squeeze at exactly the right time. Too early and the ball bounces off a jumble of prematurely clasped fingers and knuckles, too late and the ball falls through you, which is embarrassing.
This first touch by Lampson is the soccer version of an over-the-shoulder catch. Just like a wide receiver, she has to completely flip her hips and turn her body to adapt to the flight of the ball. Then, once it arrives, she has to adjust her body once again to meet the ball at the perfect moment. Lampson’s improvised karate kick maneuver helped her wrestle gravity for control of the ball’s path back to Earth, and win.
The control was so complete that the next touch was an immediate square pass to the feet of Esther for Gotham’s best chance of the game. Without the technique, contortion, control and timing from Lampson, the pass and shot never happen.
kayla fischer, what are you doing here??
I’m just as surprised as you are tbh.
This season Rahsing Louisville head coach Bev Yanez has been relying on Kayla Fischer as a #10, which is a wild decision and not one I saw coming. It’s shocking because what we’ve known of Fischer’s three previous years in the NWSL is that she’ll score the occasional goal, but is far more likely to collect deserved yellow cards. Since entering the league in 2023, Fischer has five goals and 17(!) yellow cards (just one red, which tells you a lot about the referees PRO send to the NWSL). Throughout her career so far she’s been a Bully 9 at best, Habitual Line Stepper 9 at her worst.
But it seems that Yanez charging Fischer with the task of creativity has, so far, quieted and/or repurposed the intrusive thoughts. She’s been a pure menace on the ball this season, but this time the good kind. This move was an incredibly clean and smooth Maradona Spin through two defenders and pinged cross pitch dime to switch play.
It’s early, but according to American Soccer Analysis’ goals added (g+) metric, Fischer’s +.11 dribbling mark is equal to Alex Pfeiffer’s, and is just .01 behind Rose Kouassi and Emma Sears. I had no idea that a Sauce God would emerge the moment she stopped yeeting people, but I am so here for this transformation. ■