the $5 footlong of resistance

I’ve long maintained that ‘Bro’ and ‘Karen’ are merely descriptors, and it’s the energy and targets that assign the value. This is why I found it laughable that ‘Karen’ was ever discussed as being a slur, which was only done so by evil people who choose to use their inner-Karen in devilish ways.

The confusion comes from the fact we have so few public instances of this characteristic being used for good. The prompt of ‘Karen’ elicits images of a variety of non-descript white women in public spaces calling the police on someone Black or brown for merely existing. That is a choice. Likewise, ‘Bros’ are often loudly flinging their privilege around to fulfill their own sense of superiority and entitlement. Again, another choice.

That’s why two things I have loved in these current moments—of which there are so, so few—is a distinct Karen and Bro channeling a pure and correct energy through these personas. Being fully clad in athleisure and flipping out on ICE and DEA agents is a thing we need more of. The funniest is of course the DC Sandwich Bro, who embedded a $5 footlong onto the chest of an agent. Flush. It was beautiful. Even more hilarious is how long it took the Carhartt-clad wannabe super soldiers to catch him. It’s a perfect video.

To dig out of this mess we will need plenty of correct Karens and Bros. The more we can normalize, encourage and celebrate this, the better.

Onto the woso…

upcoming matches for your eyeballs

today, august 15

The actual table has Washington Spirit sitting third (27 points) and Rahsing Louisville seventh (21 points). The xG table is closer than expected though, with the Spirit averaging the fourth highest per game, and Louisville the sixth. The difference is in goals scored versus xGA (expected goals against). Opponents have only managed a total of 19.33 xGA against Louisville, but they’ve conceded 23 goals (excluding own goals). In contrast, the Spirit have allowed 21.55 xGA but have only let in 19. I know last time I said a match would be a banger it was the Spirit’s 0-0 versus Gotham, but this one feels like it will be an absolute scrap that should be entertaining. Please do not let me down. Again.

The Utah Royals came out of the summer break with the toughest schedule, having to face Orlando then Kansas City. Managing to only concede one goal in each match while picking up a point was unexpected, and has to be a confidence boost. But now the task changes as they face a struggling, and beatable, opponent in Angel City. We should find out whether Utah’s performances were just ‘us against the world’ stuff (and whether Alex Straus is done accepting welcome gifts from the NWSL).

saturday, august 16

Mathematically the race for the NWSL Shield is still alive. Kansas City Current are twelve points ahead of Orlando Pride (and Washington Spirit). If the Pride are to maintain any hope of adding a second shield to their collection, that lead must be trimmed to nine points by the final whistle. The Current finish the season with games against Portland, Washington, Seattle, Gotham and San Diego. While unlikely, three losses from that collection of games as intensity ramp up is not unthinkable. Four (or more) is not an ask the universe is likely to entertain.

Portland Thorns have been a bit outta control since the summer break. It’s obviously a small sample size, but they’re leading the league in xG (5.06) since play resumed. North Carolina Courage, meanwhile, have been fifth worst.

The nightcap is another California derby that should feature a couple desperate teams. Last week San Diego Wavé were five minutes plus stoppage away from their third consecutive match without scoring a goal. It wouldn’t have been unearned either. Makenzy Robbe’s (née Doniak) 85th minute goal was only their third shot on target. In Bay FC’s two games back they’ve scored three goals from 5.24 total xG, and conceded three from 2.74 xGA. This could be just the opponent the Wavé need.

sunday, august 10

Gotham‘s restart to the break has included a 1-1 draw against the Chicago Tsars, then a scoreless draw with the Spirit after a Geyse red card in the 30th minute. The second result is more promising but overall Gotham has had a sputtering restart. Houston Dash at least have a win, but performances have been weird. They had a ton of possession against Bay and couldn’t do much with it until they scored in the 72nd & 88th minutes—with their only two shots on target. Against the Courage they conceded nearly 60% of possession but managed to score late in each half to win 2-1. Basically, this should be a weird one.

monday, august 18

Seattle Reign and Chicago Tsars will have the Monday night stage all to themselves, and both will have a lot to prove. Laura Harvey’s galaxy-brain approach to last weekend’s Cascadia Rivalry got her team trounced 4-2, and it could have been worse. Chicago have revealed the result of their head coaching search and somehow landed on the guy who managed Norway to sole ownership as the most unserious national team on the planet. Martin Sjögren will take over officially in the offseason, but his longtime assistant, Anders Jacobson, will be taking over as interim head coach immediately. OK!

thursday, august 21

Thursday night footy? THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTY!

things to read

[NEW] nwsl week 15’s dose of #neat

It’s time for your dose of #neat from NWSL week 15. My aim is for these to hit your inbox every Wednesday, but I ran into a video embedding snag that’s making my life annoying. The one I sent last week looked all perfect and lovely in preview mode, but email clients didn’t actually load the Streamable videos I embedded. Ugh.

Anyway, I’ll keep working on that but in the meantime here’s the #neat I found in last weekend’s games.

[ICYMI] week 15 xG race charts & g+ pass networks

It was a fun week that was slightly overshadowed by the shallow promises of the NWSL’s marketing machine. Rahsing Lousiville continued to annoy the Orlando Pride, Utah picked up the two biggest moral victories of the season, and somehow Bay FC momentarily turned Shea Groom into Marta. Here it all is, in spiffy xG race charts and goals added (g+) passing & receiving networks.

more #content you might be into

Hey Spirits
Could have been an email
[Spirits v. Gotham Review]
🍎 Apple | 🟢 Spotify

Annie, Ella & I discuss the match that could’ve been an email. We chat about the 11v11 start, what changed 11v10, why it was an unfamiliar game state, and what could’ve been done differently.

farewell fun

Mean, but funny.

@chelseafcw

POV: You get handed a mini mic with no instructions. 😂😭 #chelsea #chelseafc #cfcw #funny #football