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piepurrr nauooooooouh
upcoming matches, a question for each team, vroom vroom, more
andré carlisle
March 21, 2025
A weekly joy of this season’s The White Lotus has been Parker Posey’s pill popping North Carolina wine mom. The drawl is perfect, the dialogue is perfect, and her deliveries and accent have been perfect too. She’s an awful character, but as discussed before, that’s the point of the show.
Because of this, I absolutely love this crossover content. It’s extremely hilarious that the California-through-and-through Ashley Sanchez had no idea where to start. But Cortnee Vine makes up for it with a surprisingly well done reenactment. This feels like it was made for me, and if you know it wasn’t, don’t you dare tell me.
Ok, now let’s woso.
upcoming matches for your eyeballs
today, march 21
nwsl
thorns v. acfc
10 p.m. | prime
I’m so intrigued by these teams, especially for how little faith I have in their current coaches. Remember when I said mid-offs can be fun? Well maybe not when it’s a coaching mid-off, because then lineups and tactics usually get in the way of players being able to do things that could make the games fun.
Prove me wrong, Rob and Sam, I am begging.
saturday, march 22
wsl
arsenal v. liverpool
1:30 p.m. | espn+
Liverpool just gave Manchester United their second league loss of the season, and could capitalize on that by giving Arsenal their third. The Gunners have a lot to do in the UWCL, so now might be the best chance to sneak another unsuspecting dub.
I am extremely intrigued by the Courage and Reign match. Both teams need to commit to at least a style tweak, but didn’t show a ton of eagerness to do so in week 1. Spirit against Current this early should be a gift (see what I did there???), but with Washington’s injuries it likely won’t be the clash it could be.
sunday, march 23
liga f
barca v. real madrid
7 a.m. | dazn
Barcelona finally looked like themselves in terrorizing Wolfsburg in the UWCL. That’s potentially bad news for Real Madrid, whose shock 2-0 defeat of Arsenal in the UWCL could be long gone if they get dragged by Barca before the second leg.
wsl
man city v. chelsea
10:30 a.m. | espn+
These teams are in the middle of only playing each other four times in twelve days. How very stupid. They’re currently at one game apiece, and Chelsea will probably care a lot more about extracting revenge in the Champions League three days later.
Not to spoil my own post but the biggest question for Houston is ‘are you actually legit now, like, for real?’. Not sure this Chicago team will provide all the answers, but seeing a repeat performances with the same tactical ideas and growth from week 1 could tell us some things.
wednesday, march 26
I expected better from Bayern, but they can still make things uncomfortable for Lyon if they grab the first goal. The Arsenal match was the biggest upset of the round, and made me giggle. I would be surprised if they didn’t turn this around, especially because Real Madrid’s coach has a history of unseriousness, so expecting him to be serious over two legs could be asking too much.
Either way, this should be the most entertaining match of the day.
thursday, march 27
Wolfsburg are probably ultra cooked but Chelsea have the players to turn around a 2-0 at home. Do they have the coach to do so? I remain unconvinced.
stuff to read…
Week 1 gave us a 6-0 demolition, last year’s bottom table side dominating last year’s championship runners up but losing 2-1, a nearly blown 3-0 lead, and every other game ending 1-1. It’s a long season, but there are already questions from week 1 that each team can begin answering in week 2.
So I decided to write down a main one for each team. Let’s get to questioning.
Oh we are so back. Not only are we back, I have some new hotness to share. As mentioned in my big ol’ funky NWSL team previews, I’m all in on American Soccer Analysis’ goals added (g+) metric this season. A primary reason is their ‘receiving’ metric, which aims to distribute the value of passes to both the passer and receiver. I love this. Soccer is such a fluid game that it can be hard to calculate the importance of movement and positioning away from the ball, but this is one way to do it.
You may be able to tell that I am very excited about this. If you’re excited too, well, you’re in the right place lol. Even if you aren’t, it’s my job to change that, so thank you for being here and giving me the opportunity. Let’s get to week 1 xG race chart and g+ pass networks.
more #content you might be into
We review the Spirit’s scrappy 2-1 win over Houston Dash! We chat about the goals (#JusticeForChloe), top performers, and why there’s a lot of room – and urgency – for improvement.
Deepti, Kyle & Donald joined me to preview the Chinese Grand Prix! We talk curly Qs, super vrooming, early team orders, Old Ferrari, rookie redemption, Williams seriousness, and more!
gifin’ it
Banger.
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