YOU NEED MORE ARN INYER DIEIT

Every now and then I come across a video by some random person on the internets that I cannot get out of my head. If you follow me on Bluesky, you know that a couple weeks ago I was cracking up over a video about an accidental deeply American (erm, ‘Merican) accent popping out. Weeks later, I’m still here.

@adrien.jpg

My contribution to the trend #accent #wtfisakilometer #america #fyp #relatable

It’s perfect because it resonates so well with me. I know most people say they don’t have an accent, but I truly have always felt that I don’t. I was born in Indiana, but my parents moved to northern Virginia when I was weeks old. (Which is to say that, despite how much of it I do now, was well before I could speak.) I spent several summers back in Indiana, and sometimes it would take a month or so upon returning for whatever bits of accent took hold while I was there—though it never got so embedded that I’d say ‘pop’ instead of Coke or soda.

Now, as certainly was not my plan or expectation, I spend hours each week editing podcasts with my voice featured heavily. I’ve since learned to detach myself from my voice so I can simply treat it as sound to analyze, tweak or enhance. But there are certain words, phrases, and/or times of day when I hear something that sounds like my voice, saying something in a way I don’t recognize, and simply cannot be me. I typically laugh, make a mental note for next time, and then immediately try to forget it. But now, thanks to this video, I will hear eagles screeching in the background. Dammit. But also, lol.

Ok, let’s woso.

upcoming matches for your eyeballs

today, march 28

Both of these matches should be bangers. The Dash put in another very good performance against Chicago but now they get to level up to a probably quite desperate Gotham team, who were unlucky to go down by an own goal so early against the Pride.

Bay have started the season hoopin while the Spirit have started their season, erm, very injured. Washington’s Heather Stainbrook, Courtney Brown and Lyon loanee Kysha Sylla are off the report, but no disrespect to them, what we’re all really waiting to see is Croix Bethune, Ouleye Sarr and Rose Kouassi become available as well. They’re not, so Bay could exorcise a demon or two from last year’s playoff loss at Audi.

saturday, march 29

I’m still big mad at the Frauen Bundesliga for going from a very fun four-way tie at the top to oh look Bayern Munich’s six points clear of everyone again. There’s still time for it all to get fun again, but teams like Eintracht need to make sure they don’t stumble against, say, 8th place Werder Bremen who beat them in October.

If you had plans Saturday night I’m sorry no you don’t pls cancel them right now. Orlando versus San Diego could be straightforward, but the Wavé are a very young and press-happy team and Delphine Cascarino has yet to meet a defender she can’t cook. If they can force the Pride into a game of chaos, things could get interesting.

Kansas City just announced that Bia Zaneratto is off the SEI list, which is a tremendously frightening omen for the rest of the league. The Royals finally hooped for the first time this year in the second half of their second game, and it was a delight. If both teams can perform closer to their peaks, this one could get real fun real fast.

The Thorns are still a bit of a mess but seem to at least be turning into a fun mess??? Meanwhile, the Courage are still struggling to figure out how to get the best from Jaedyn Shaw and Ashley Sanchez. Last week’s experiment was playing them both out of position. They’ll continue to be vulnerable until they figure out how to get the best from both.

sunday, march 30

As long as Liverpool have Olivia Smith, you should watch Liverpool. Aston Villa aren’t particularly noteworthy, new head coach Natalia Arroyo started with a 3-2 win over Brighton in the FA Cup, which looked very promising. But they’ve lost every game in every competition since, conceding 14 and scoring once. Oof.

Manchester City just fumbled a 2-0 lead over Chelsea in the Champions League, in part because of player availability (and apparently because new old manager bounces have a much shorter shelf life). Brighton are just below City on the table, but ten points away. Making that seven wouldn’t really put the position within reach without a lot more help, but it would help Brighton stay above Liverpool, who are just one point behind.

Leverkusen could do everyone a massive favor and capitalize on Bayern’s midweek yeeting from the Champions League by Lyon. On the other hand, Bayern could just be pissed off and run back to the comfort of dominating in their domestic league. You either get an upset, or Angry Pernille Harder. You, personally, cannot lose.

As for Wolfsburg, well, they just gotta keep winning. They’re tied on points with Eintracht, but are ten goals behind on goal difference. Closing that gap with a big win could come in handy if Bayern start to stumble.

IMO they should scrap the original match and have Chicago and Louisville’s front office combine to make one team while players from both teams make up the opposition. Both front offices spent their offseason doing very little to improve their teams on the pitch, and would deserve whatever yellow card challenges come their way.

I’m not at all happy about Angel City’s coaching situation, and hope some progress can be made through the very obvious decision of getting Katie Zelem on the pitch from the start. Last week the Reign were the most fun they’ve been in over a year, let us pray that it continues.

saturday, april 5

tuesday, april 8

stuff to read…

2025 nwsl week 2: xG race charts & g+ pass networks

NWSL players went off in week 2, so only one game matched the 1-1 scoreline that featured four times in week 1. We’re also starting to see a bit more personality from teams, how they want to play, and who is already vital to their ability to do so. It’s only the second week of a long season, but there are some interesting early trends.

Remember, we’ve upped our game with pass networks this year. In addition to focusing on American Soccer Analysis’ passing goals added (g+) for the size and color each player bubble, each bubble has a ring whose color corresponds to their receiving g+. It’s a fun and imo effective way to identify a player’s impact when receiving and maintaining possession.

Alright nerds, let’s nerd.

emma hayes' arm around the shoulder hasn't worked, now what

Re-sharing, for reasons.

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Absolute laser.