nikita parris rejected £1m from north carolina, why that's fine and who might be better fits

It has been an indisputable truth that North Carolina need a consistent central goalscorer. They hit the second most crosses into the box per 90, 9.33, and subsequently have the highest number of shots from crosses in open play (22). Yet those shots only generated a total of 3.26xG, and just two goals.

While certainly not a center forward, Kerolin’s specific brand of game wreckery added the goals to make up the difference. Reporting from David Ornstein of The Athletic suggests the Courage tried to solve this problem with a £1-million, three-year offer for 30-year-old winger/part-time striker Nikita Parris.

Hilariously, the report claims the deal fell through because the Courage wanted Parris for the start of the season, but she wanted to play in Manchester United’s FA Cup Final. While the Courage have been whipping in a league leading amount of crosses to Not Nikita Parris, she was coming off the bench in the 58th minute of the final and eventually got to lift a trophy she’d lifted twice before. That’s about £31k per minute of expensive cardio.

Blessing in disguise?

I don’t slate players for making whatever decisions they feel are best, but that doesn’t mean that every now and then one won’t be funny, and this one certainly is. But it also may have indirectly benefitted the Courage (assuming they’re not going to throw the same bag when August rolls around).

After stalling and falling out of favor at Arsenal, Parris needed a bit of a reboot to her career as she entered her 30s, and United seem to have been the reset button she was after. She’s played 14.7 90s (6.8 at CF, 7.8 LW/RW) in the WSL this season and have had one of her most productive finishing season since 2020/21.

Parris has eked out eight league goals from 37 shots, and just 4.54 combined xG. More impressively, and probably most significantly for the Courage, she’s scored four goals from open play crosses, and out of just 1.53xG.

At first glance this is exactly what North Carolina need: a player who is committed and effective in the press, and clinical finishing within the width of the six yard box. But the numbers are a tad inflated. Of her eight goals, only two were scored against a keeper with a save percentage above 65% (74, Brosnan). And, according to StatsBomb’s goalkeeper on ball value (Goalkeeper OBV), none of the keepers she’s beaten have managed to post a positive number.

Okay so who should they sign then?

While it might have worked well, there’s also another concern for me. The Courage’s player recruitment has a hipster-esque quality to it, and every rumored or announced signing typically adds curl to handlebar mustaches nationwide.

Narumi Miura [26], Manaka Matsukubo [19], and Felicitas Rauch [28] are all very fun players who weren’t household names, but have been ballin. Though Kerolin [24] was known prior to her arrival (especially if you listen to Diaspora United Podcast), they convinced her to come to Cary, NC and she proceeded to elevate her game to an MVP level.

Since throwing the bag at Parris feels a bit off, and the Courage have a couple months to consider making a different decision, let’s look at four players who check a few more of the boxes.