Bryan Berlin, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
Now that the NWSL is back, it’s time to remind ourselves of the chaos and violence in store for us. Before the league left us, three things that happened before the international break kept rattling around in my brain, so here they are.
rose kouassi is a menace
First of all, I don’t know how Leicy Santos missed either. But because she did I get to drop this gem here, so thank you I guess? Anyway, goodness gracious. Sweet Jesus. This is my kinda violence.
If an attacker like Rose ever tries to sell you on an uncommon body shape for the situation, please do not buy it. It is a trap. It is always a trap. Kouassi doesn’t square up the defender, instead she keeps her back to the byline and dribbles oh so slightly forward to give herself enough space in the box to run into. The meg (er, tunnel) was clean and smooth, and the acceleration to meet the ball makes it look Rose and the ball just phased through a helpless defender.
The cross is excellent, and Trinity Rodman’s dummy helped add to the move to draw defenders away and give Santos a higher xG chance than a penalty. Again, I do not know how she missed but I am thankful. Now this GIF lives here as a loop and I am so blessed and honored.
sarah mf’n gorden
I will die on the hill that Sarah Gorden should have been a regular USWNT player, but the federation and coaches they hired had no vision. Now she’s 33-years-old and with all the young defensive talent she’s unlikely to get another callup into camp.
Gorden is the only true center back alive who can make up ground on Barbra Banda in a foot race. This is the exact scenario every coach that has to face Banda worries about and tries to avoid. A long outlet that allows Banda to isolate a center back and drag them wide. It’s not where any center back in the world wants to be.
All other center backs in this scenario lose the race and are rendered helpless. They’d either have to bring Banda down and earn a DOGSO red, or watch and hope their keeper saves a 1v1, or pray the hardest prayer to the deity they believe in that they intervene in carnal matters to make Banda miss.
courage hail mary fumbled at the goaline
North Carolina and Portland engaged in a track meet in Cary and were both trying to cross the finish line a nose in front. With the clock ticking into the fourth minute of the four allotted for stoppage time, the Courage managed one final lunge across the line. The move was a sweeping, box to box attack that covered nearly the full length of the pitch in fifteen seconds with four passes.
Everyone was gassed but once the ball was slid over to Riley Jackson she knew exactly what to do. She first timed an absurd pass to Ashley Sanchez that broke through the midfield and defensive line. Sanchez was too exhausted to collect the ball and try to dribble around two defenders, and notices Payton Linnehan (now Crawford) making a run with a defender’s back toward her. The looped pass with her weaker left foot floated and didn’t seem like it wold reach her, to the point where the keeper charged out.
The ball made it, and the keeper was suddenly in a horrible position as Linnehan dribbled wide and shot at an open net. Shoutout to the Thorns center back who kept running to cut off the near post, causing Linnehan to aim for the far post. The hustle paid off and the ball bounced agonizingly wide for the Courage.
Watch Ashley Sanchez the whole time, especially after she releases the pass. Sometimes it be like that. ■