der zug hat keine bremse

The World 7s snuck up on me in more ways than one. First, I won’t lie, I forgot it was happening. I remember hearing about it, but had no idea when it was or where to access it. Thankfully, that was taken care of pretty swiftly, and I remained locked in for all three days.

But the other way it snuck up on me is that I did not expect the players to make it so dang fun. Despite many of them saying the 7v7 format took some getting used to, it seems several of them enjoyed the atmosphere—complete with a DJ—and opportunity to show their skills in a slightly less organized version of the game than official 11v11 competition.

I wasn’t going to say this out loud, but the way Bayern Munich—who eventually won the tournament—celebrated throughout the competition made it feel as if this was more fun to them than winning the Bundesliga. Then, Jovana Damnjanović straight up said so (sheepishly into a microphone before shaking her head and laughing).

Still, players across the tournament did cartweels during player introductions, assembled themselves into a human bike, blew a kiss to a referee after being yellow carded for taking their shirt off celebrating a goal, and hit a flawless backwards worm (more on that later).

Oh, and several players balled out. There were goals, nutmegs, wild saves, fast-paced play, and lots of dancing. I love it when sports are fun, and shoutout to the players and World 7s organizers for leaning all the way into the fun of the sport. I won’t be caught off guard next year, that I can promise.

Alright, let’s woso more.

upcoming matches for your eyeballs

today, may 23

I know I have been made to look extremely silly trying to predict things in the NWSL. But. Still. However. When it comes to Pride versus these Royals, I can only see it going on way. Feel free to screenshot this and laugh at me when it ends 2-0 to Utah.

Ngl chat I am still completely flummoxed by Laura Harvey’s dastardly gameplan for the Reign’s 1-0 win over Louisville last week. I don’t at all think it’s the way the team should play, or will likely play again. But it might have done its job in getting a dub and giving Spirit head coach Jona Giráldez one more thing to prepare for—in addition to fixing the suddenly leakiest defense in the league.

saturday, may 24

Yes, I am a Chelsea fan. Yes, I am tired of my team losing to Barcelona in the UWCL. In fact, yes, I am tired of them not just losing but being embarrassed. Yes, I am living in absolute fear of Arsenal doing the improbable and beating Barcelona to lift this UWCL trophy before Chelsea. No, I will not be a Barcelona fan at all during this match. Yes, I will be watching as a Kendrick-level hater. If I hate hard enough there’s no way I can lose.

Bay and Houston are two teams who continue to hurt me. I want to believe that both are onto something, and that they will show signs of steady progression toward a fun style of play. Instead, they have either plateaued or moonwalked right by mediocrity into ‘tf y’all doin over there’ territory. Mid-offs can be fun, this one might be, but I’ve given both teams too much of my hope to be convinced that it will be.

The Current got their get back over Orlando last weekend but it came with a brutal toll. Alana Cook tore just about everything there is to tear in her knee (I’m blaming JD Vance) and Debinha will be out for “months”. Still, they should have enough to handle Chicago, who, to no one’s surprise other than GM Richard Feuz, aren’t controlling games or generating more scoring chances than they were under Lorne Donaldson.

We’ve finally entered the ‘Angel City are legit’ portion of their existence, and I am hype to watch them play every week (I’ll be more hype once their real coach gets there, but they’re still fun). Rahsing, meanwhile, have not been fun to watch. Like at all. If you, like me, enjoy the type of soccering in which teammates connect passes to each other, this is not the team for you.

sunday, may 25

This is a banger matchup but for some reason all I can think about is a 10pm ET kickoff on a Sunday before an international break. That there is bonkers. Anyway, the Wavé have been the most surprising team of the season, and have done it in a fun way. The Courage have several fun components, but have yet to find a way to do fun things consistently, or get the maximum fun out of their most fun players. #Fun.

friday, may 30

The revitalization of the U23s has been a long overdue thing. There is a ton of talent in this country, and so few roster spots. This U23 squad not only have multiple players who aren’t strangers to the senior team, but several others who could already easily make the transition. If these games are streamed somewhere I shall be sat.

saturday, may 31

Previously, Emma Hayes said that she wanted to be in the process of solidifying her squad by this summer, and, well, lol. This roster includes two players receiving their first ever callups, and one is 32-year-old midfield dynamo Lo LaBonta. I’m writing more about her and will drop that soon.

Hayes seems to be coming to grasp with the terrible secret that there is just so much talent, and a lot of players deserve to put on that shirt. Where Hayes seems a bit stuck is in finding the right combination of players who can execute her various gameplans match-to-match. That’s a necessity in major tournaments, as ‘one neat trick’ teams can get found out.

But it makes talent selection with a massive pool quite difficult. Thankfully it seems like she’s accepted this and is still committed to the process of expanding her search.

monday, june 2

tuesday, june 3

stuff to read…

2025 nwsl week 9: xG race charts & g+ pass networks

Week 9 included more bonkers stuff (complimentary) as well as some bonkers things (derogatory). Laura Harvey played a cruel joke on Louisville, Keeping Up with Teal Man was frequently interrupted by a good soccer game, Portland and San Diego’s kids went off, and the Spirit still can’t find the off button for yakety sax first half defending.

Here are xG race charts and g+ pass networks from week nine.

more #content you might be into

Diaspora United
USWNT, UWCL Preview, and Feeling Unwell About Unwell FC (w/ Tamerra Griffin)
🍎 Apple | 🟢 Spotify

André welcomed the 🐐, Tamerra Griffin, to the pod! We discuss the USWNT roster, preview the UWCL Final, and address our unwell feelings about Unwell FC.

Hey Spirits
Never Have I Trevor (w/ Esme Morgan)
🍎 Apple | 🟢 Spotify

Annie & I caught up with your favorite Jacksonville Jaguars fan, Esme Morgan! We chat about the season so far (and vibe check), becoming a Jags fan, draft night chaos, Biscuit, and more!

DRS FC
2025 MONACO GP PREVIEW: Do the Monaco Two-Stop
🍎 Apple | 🟢 Spotify

Meghan & I preview the Monaco GP! We chat about the history of the track, the glitz and glamour of it all, this year’s new rule, living on a yacht vicariously, and drop our predictions.

gif time

Killed this tbh.