The 2024 NWSL season is upon us, and final(ish) squads were submitted to the league in advance of kickoff weekend. So with everyone taking their positions on the starting line, now felt like a good time to ask one question of every team.

angel city fc: r u kiddin me?

I am so sorry but I had to it’s not my fault. I sat down to type and my fingers moved involuntarily and that happened, it wasn’t me, I promise. Anyway, Angel City seem to have set themselves up to rely on a few teenagers, particularly with the loss of Jun Endo (which I am still not over and do not want to talk about thx).

Alyssa (19) and Gisele (18) Thompson are ballers, as are Casey Phair (16) and Kennedy Fuller (17). It’s a lot to ask, but if you were gonna fill a squad with baby ballers, these are an exceptional four to have. They have a strong defensive line, aggressive fullbacks and a midfield base of Amandine Henry and free agent signing Rocky Rodriguez. If they use this to let the kids + Messiah Bright cook, Angel City could be an unpredictable delight.

bay fc: what do you want from us?

Bay FC used every inch of ever mechanism available tot hem as an expansion club to assemble a mf’n juggernaut, at least on paper. I have questions about the defense, but it might not matter given the amount of goals Asisat Oshoala, Racheal Kundananji and Deyna Castellanos are capable of scoring - individually, and hopefully as one of the sauciest units in the league.

Do they want the never-been-done-before NWSL Shield in their first season? A first season NWSL Championship? All of the above? World domination? I dunno, but they’re talented enough to get it.

chicago red stars: why are your fists clenched we’re just talking?

Lorne Donaldson landed in Chicago and unveiled a PowerPoint presentation with a single slide showing a white folding chair, then got to work. The coach of the team with the best defense at the 2023 World Cup brought in some scrappers in Shea Groom, Natalia Kuikka and Leilanni Nesbeth.

Oh, and Mal Swanson is back.

While this project is certainly still in its initial phase, I can already guarantee the 2024 Red Stars will not give the opposition the same joy as the 2023 version that conceded a league high fifty (50!) goals.

houston dash: remember goals?

Unless you had a burning desire to watch a goalkeeper massively overperform their goals saved above average week to week, the 2023 Houston Dash were annoying. Maria Sanchez would do her best to entertain, but Sam Laity’s side scored a hilariously low 16 goals all season. In 22 games!

New head coach Fran Alonso has a lot to do, and top of the list must be getting this team to score some dang goals. Andressa, Cece Kizer and Yuki Nagasato should help, but it’s not like last year’s squad lacked attacking talent (Nichelle Prince & Ebony Salmon).

kc current: wyd?

Kansas City panicked about the expansion draft and yeeted Alex Loera to Bay FC and Kate Del Fava to Utah, two very good players at key positions who are in their mid-20s. Then they hired Vlatko Andonovski (though it’s still not quite sure why they released Matt Potter, who led them to a championship).

Andonovski was not a bad club coach and was always going to be hired by someone, likely in the NWSL. Apart from attracting international players and acquiring real estate, it hasn’t been clear that KC’s front office has figured out how to build a squad and cultivate a good environment.

nj/ny gotham fc: honestly how dare you?

The nerve. The audacity. The unmitigated gall of you.

Yael Averbuch West really went and signed all four big name 2024 free agents. The season after winning an NWSL Championship, no less. These weren’t vanity signings either, given Juan Carlos Amoros’ style, Crystal Dunn, Rose Lavelle and Emily Sonnett should be natural fits that thrive in his organized chaos. And replacing now retired stalwart CB Ali Krieger with Tierna Davidson is evil business. Again I ask, how dare they.

nc courage: how much sauce is too much sauce?

This is either a trick or rhetorical question but one I am hoping the 2024 Courage explore thoroughly. Last season Nahas’s Courage team was exciting, fluid and scored some a lot of fun goals.

Their season wobbled once Kerolin tore her ACL (obvs), then in the offseason Emily Fox left to join Arsenal. The Courage added Felicitas Rauch to replace Emily Fox, which is a perfect pickup for a team that thrives on spreading teams out. Nahas was also able to bring in Ashley Sanchez, one of the most creative attackers and skillful dribblers in the league, and will be expecting even better second seasons from potential sauce gods Manaka Matsukubo and Olivia Wingate.

With one of the most solid midfield bases in the league with Denise O’Sullivan and Narumi Miura, I can only hope they’re deeply committed to finding out. For science.

orlando pride: what have you done?

Orlando might be one of the smartest teams in the league. They’ve signed a lot of international talent, focusing on the connections with Brazil and Brazilian players to add lots of fun talents, including luring Rafaelle away from Arsenal. Then they done went and signed Barbra Banda, one of the most remarkable attacking talents in football.

Banda announced herself to the world in the 2020 Olympics (played in 2021) with back-to-back hat tricks against Netherlands then China. Bringing her to the NWSL is pure villainy, and I love every bit of it.

portland thorns: soph smith and whomst?

This isn’t to single out the attack, Morgan Weaver and (welcome back) Janine Beckie are legit, but there are questions in midfield and defense too. Sam Coffey is extremely useful to controlling matches from the base of midfield, but not having Crystal Dunn or Rocky Rodriguez - particularly their defensive contributions - is a concern.

I am a big Jessie Fleming fan and it’s dope that she’s in the league, but she’s not an exceptional defensive player. They also lost Natalia Kuikka, who’s one of the league’s best fullbacks. Sophia Smith will likely always get hers cause she’s exceptional, but whomst is going to join her level to ease pressure along any line.

rahsing louisville: where the vibes at?

The vibes at Rahsing hasn’t been good since they first joined the league. Most of that was due to people they trusted, and the trust those in the front office had in them even when it was clear that they shouldn’t. They’ve seemingly stumbled into terrific vibes with Bev Yanez now at head coach.

The next step is to translate those vibes to the pitch, but they’ve lost Thembi Kgatlana and are probably going to try the Taylor Flint (formerly Kornieck) deep-lying midfielder thing again, so we’ll see if the vibes are strong enough to handle both.

san diego wave fc: where the midfield at?

Wave’’s final roster release listed on three true midfielders. While that’s not exactly accurate, as Sierra Enge and Jaedyn Shaw could (should) see time in midfield, it’s still a rather thin group.

Stoney has prioritized defense and not committing numbers in attack to better cope with transitions, and it has worked. They were the first expansion team to make the playoffs their inaugural season, and won the NWSL Shield their second season (which to Stoney made them the best team). Given the squad makeup, they’re set to try it all again, and maybe even more deviously this time.

reign fc: where the xG at?

Last year’s Reign averaged 1.02xG per 90, the second lowest of the season (Chicago, .94). That’s a wild thing to be true for a team with Rapinoe, Rose Lavelle, Jordyn Huitema and Bethany Balcer. The World Cup certainly caused it’s problems, but they weren’t the only team affected.

It shouldn’t make a lot of sense that losing Rapinoe to retirement and half their midfield in Rose Lavelle and Emily Sonnett to free agency, but it might. Reign played a bit slow in attack and relied on set pieces and timely goals. While they certainly haven’t gotten faster by adding Ji So-Yun (though she is very fun), her desire to break lines to get attacks flowing could help quicken the pace.

utah royals: do u need more time to finish the assignment?

Most clubs haven’t named a squad with all of their 26 available roster slots filled, but Utah is by far the lowest. They’re rolling into the season with 22 players, which includes three goalkeepers. They can’t even have a true 11v11 scrimmage. If you’re going to have a bank with a white nationalist slogan on your shirts at least be sure to get enough money to fill out a squad.

Some of the pieces they’ve added are intriguing, including quality drafting to bring in Ally Sentnor, Brecken Mozingo and Lauren Flynn. But this squad feels like it’s missing an important part or two. Maybe first-time coach Amy Rodriguez’s intensity will transfer into her team and be enough, but on paper this looks like a long season.

washington spirit: gonna be a while ain’t it?

The Spirit are going through a lot right now. New style change, six rookies, new interim coach, new coach on the way, a new primary color with a full rebrand on the way, and a new international signing teased “soon”. Clearly ‘soon’ won’t be prior to their first game, but this is still a whole lot.

Sam Staab and Ashley Sanchez seemed like perfect fits for the incoming possession-based Spanish style, but both were traded in favor of loading up on additional first round picks. If they’ve nailed all their picks and each of their decisions, they may cook sooner than everyone expects. But there are too many moving and/or not-here-yet parts to put maximum faith in that, so expect to not see the real Spirit for a while.