new nwsl shirts: the dope, the meh, and the ugh

No season of soccer can officially begin without a kit drop. Thankfully the NWSL’s—whose regular season starts in just over two weeks—new crop of shirts is finally here. It’s a half kit drop thanks to Nike’s approach to solving ‘unprecedented demand’ being ‘guess we’ll just do even less then'. Ugh, whatever.

However every team’s two-toned kits from last year are being replaced, and that truly is something to celebrate, even if it never should have been a thing in the first place. Instead of ranking each shirt I’ve decided to go team-by-team to assess each one independently. That doesn’t mean some aren’t nearer to my heart, but the designs are so unique that I think some attention should be paid to each beyond like and dislike.

So here are my opinions on every shirt, which are 100% correct and that no one will disagree with primarily because it is illegal to do so.

angel city

My initial reaction was delight that the earlier FootyHeadlines leak was wrong about Angel City’s shirt. The next reaction was concern that the striping on the collar and sleeves would be indicative of a template, and after seeing the whole range: spoiler alert, it is. But Angel City used the space in between quite well.

I’m among the chorus of people constantly screaming at them to use more of the sol rosa color that is the most unique among their palette. This doesn’t exactly do that, but it includes lightened versions of L.A. landmarks which is quite dope. I’m not from the area, but from scouring the internets it seems they’ve done a decent job of spotlighting some well-known and some niche.

My primary concern is that there’s not enough contrast between the base color of the shirt and the illustrations. This means it will probably just look straight up gray on broadcast, which will betray the cool design work that went into the shirt.

bay fc

Alright, the thing is: I like it. It’s a good color combination that offers plenty of pop. It’s just that it doesn’t do enough to establish the design identity of a very new team. One of the best pieces of NWSL merch last season was Bay FC’s letterman jacket that they shipped around the world to announce new signings.

It was so dope because it played off the elaborate ‘B’ that carried the burden of being their lone design element. It also looks quite baseball-y, so leaning into that is a thing they should do. Imagine that everything in the ‘poppy red’ was white, and there were thin pinstripes outlining the larger vertical stripes. You’d lose the pop of color, but the tradeoff would be something even more unique that capitalizes on the crest in the same way as the letterman jacket. Also, the poppy red could come back into play as an accent color to add more depth and brand cohesion.

Anyway, all in all I like it. But there’s so much potential, and so far none of their first four kits have come close to doing what the letterman jacket does.

chicago tsars

What in the BP oil spill is this? Whomst wants anyone to be thinking about poor oil covered duckling being cleaned with Dawn dish soap when they think about your club? It’s sad and tragic, and honestly it’s weird that Dawn ever used that to sell their product anyway. Nobody needs their dish soap to be able to clean a duck, it’s much more important and relevant for it to be able to handle remnants of a bolognese.

Anyway, the most egregious thing about this is that, as far as I can tell (and no I will not be believing or paying attention to any of the buzzwordified copy marketing comes up with to justify bad design) it has nothing to do with Chicago. That was the whole fun of a Chicago (née Red) Stars shirt. Remember the elevated kit? The neighborhood kit? Even the one with the big ass L train on the front?

Chicago had always done a great job of aligning itself with the city through smart, cohesive designs. This is just reminiscent of policy failure and the way corporations can damage and destroy our natural world. Thanks?

houston dash

I, personally, was not prepared for the Houston Dash to suddenly start caring but I love it. This shirt is dope. Normally I would be mad at the introduction of a completely random ass color but if the design is good I’ll get over it. In this case, I got over it. (I do wonder if they thought about making the purple an orange, but whatever.)

The main thing I like about this is that it’s fun. It has a good vibe and on broadcast it won’t look like anything else in the league. That’s what those in the #biz call a win-win. I also love the way they didn’t let the crest detract from it. The badge is desaturated to make the design white on a black background, which keeps it recognizable without clashing.

Houston appear to be leveling up in all phases, and it’s about damn time.

kc current

“Y’ALL MFs WANTED TEAL FINE HERE YOU GO DAMN.”

Alright ok please stop yelling at us and also thank you.

gotham fc

What the hell is going on here? Seriously I do not understand anything about this shirt. Why are there shoulder pads? Why is the badge completely blacked out? One of the best badges in the league? All design elements that make it interesting flattened into an indiscernible blob of nothing? I hate it.

To be honest I could get over the badge without the shoulder pads, but combined with the heaviness of the badge makes the shirt feel heavy and unbalanced—and for good design reason at all. Stinky. At least the shorts are fun.

nc courage

Well, blah. This is disappointing. It’s just a red shirt. Thassit. That’s all. There’s some texture and some recessed design elements in a side stripe. It’s unfortunate because North Carolina’s color palette is unique, with deep colors that complement each other well.

The shirt was never going to be saved without actual design elements, but the overall kit could have been saved with shorts that were another color. More teams should get into the idea that contrast is good, and complementary shorts can elevate a boring shirt if it becomes part of a classy kit—unfortunately the same red shorts don’t do that here.

orlando pride

Of the shirts that were leaked, Orlando’s looked the most weird. But this actually looks so much better. I like the shiny, monochrome badge, and while the central placement ain’t my fav, it works to highlight the addition of their star for winning the NWSL Championship. I also love absolutely adore the vibrant electric blue coming to play as an accent.

Ok but here’s a major problem: This is the authentic shirt, which has a starting cost of $199, like most authentic shirts or jerseys across sports. That’s not the problem. The real problem is that the replica shirt looks absolutely nothing like the authentic version.

That is not in any way the same shirt. That’s the kind of dyed Hanes T that someone pulls out of a trunk to fool an unsuspecting grandma in a big city. I expect the texture to be gone, and the badge to be different—but not this different! The badge looks dull and gray and the purple isn’t even close. The replica shirt is a misspelled front sponsor away from being seized by the feds.

portland thorns

Black and red is hard to mess up, and this is fine I guess. It’s not stunning, it’s fine. And that’s fine.

What’s not fine is that front shirt sponsor. Nextdoor app ass sponsor. They are now Portland ‘Does Anyone Recognize This Person?’ FC. Or more straightforwardly, Portland Community Surveillance FC. Portland Karens FC? Portland ‘I’m Not Racist I Voted For Obama’ FC. Anyway, those cameras suck and at some point we have got to stop shoveling data to Amazon.

rahsing louisville

This one had to grow on me. My initial reaction was to be disappointed. This is becoming a theme but teams with unique colors at their disposal should probably use them. This green is a much lesser green than mint, and a less pleasing-to-the-eye color than lavender. But somehow, eventually, this shirt (and whole kit) works.

It’s not my favorite, but I’m OK with it. I would have liked a more emerald-y green, similar to what Palmeiras did with their 110-year anniversary home shirt. But the accents on the sleeves are nice, and while the collar is a faux collar, it is at least a collar—which imo all Louisville shirts should have.

san diego wavé

As an ex-graphic designer I enjoy anytime you can wrack your brain trying to find creative and unique ways to link community and brand identity through art and design and then one night you slap your forehead and go ‘MAKE LOOK LIKE WATER’, and it works.

seattle reign

Teams were only replacing one shirt and because of that Reign were setup quite nicely to grab the crown for the best kit range in the league thanks to that still stunning home shirt. That shirt was a high bar, and while this doesn’t clear it, it’s in the neighborhood and that’s good enough.

I do wish the gold was a little more gold and a little more pronounced, but it’s a solid shirt. The sun ray design is well done and offsetting it from the side makes the lines more interesting. The blue collar and sleeve lining seems like a basic choice but keeps the shirt balanced so the design can be appreciated. I actually think this shirt will look even better with a sponsor, which hopefully won’t be Providence.

utah royals

Would’ve already bought this if it didn’t (still!) have that sponsor. Ain’t no way you’re ever gonna catch my Black ass wearing anything at all that says ‘America First’. Bank or not, never, ever ever. Ever. In my entire life.

washington spirit

Spirit! Spirit! Spirit! Oi! Oi! Oi!

One of the first bits of merch to leak was the Spirit’s new dark green warmup jacket that looked familiar in a ‘last time we saw that Raygun was in it hopping like a kangaroo in a breakdancing competition’ sort of way. I’m always here for jokes over facts, but the shirt (and overall kit) reminds me more of the Reggae Girlz than Australia.

And.

Oh no.

Uh oh. Help.

I can’t stop myself.

Dammit.